Star Wars Holiday Special was 'Bait and Switch'!

Happy holidays everyone! This is Antibishonen Speaks.

I know you're interested in Star Wars and I know you're waiting in line right now to watch 'The Force Awakens'. Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of guy who's going to fall for a Star Wars hype again

(Ep. 1)

Ah, hem....

However, despite the great press, George Lucas himself doesn't want to hear Star Wars and the holidays on the same sentence. Why? Out of all the creative blunders he did, the one he regretted the most was 'The Star Wars Holiday Special'.

For those who don't know, the 'Star Wars Holiday Special' was a special that briefly aired on CBS on Nov. 17, 1978; a year after 'Star Wars' went into theaters.

It's a shame because the concept itself doesn't seem too bad.

"A 'Star Wars' Special taking place in the holidays and they actually got the Star Wars'

cast? I'm sold! Oh, who is this Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman and Art Carney?"

After all the built-in hype and fighting the frizzies at 11, you watched the 'Star Wars Holiday Special'! You can't wait to see the epic lightsaber battles, the space fight scenes, or perhaps the countless stormtroopers raiding the city.

After hearing the discussion with Han Solo regarding 'life day' and the familiar 'Star Wars' scene...

10 minutes in and you're pissed.

20 minutes in and you're really, really pissed.

30 minutes in and for some odd reason you wanted a refund.

As you had already figured out, everybody hated it. But at least they had a Boba Fett cartoon. Boba Fett: Greatest bounty hunter and people still talk about him to this day....

Yeah, there's no way to recover this mess. What happened?

For one thing, the 'Star Wars Holiday Special' was misleading. It's no wonder why many fans were pissed: They were promised the big name stars and all they focus on was the Chewbacca family. Instead of the epic lighsaber battles, you hear the screams from the Chewbacca Family you can't even understand.

In fact, what was the point of featuring the main Star Wars cast? Not only it was wasted potential, they had to cover the outrageous booking fees!

Instead, the real title should have been:

'The Star Wars Variety Hour Holiday Special' starring the Chewbacca family with special guest stars Art Carney, Harvey Korman, and Bea Arthur. Special cameos include Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Darth Vader.

Speaking of variety shows, that genre was a dying breed and it became official when NBC premiered 'The Pink Lady and Jeff Show'. They may have been responsible for ending the variety hour, but it was 'Star Wars' that reached the tipping point.

If you want to get even more technical, this was bait-and-switch: Using the 'Star Wars' name as a desperate attempt to gain variety show viewers.

But wait....we have Princess Leia discussing Life Day and....

(interrupts)

No, that's pushing it too far....

After this TV disaster, nobody wanted to talk about that special again; not even George Lucas. He admitted he wanted to smash every single copy of that special. It was really personal and I'm surprised he was able to recover in 'The Empire Strikes Back'!

Because they refused to release an official copy, the only way you could actually watch this special is a bootleg copy on VHS or YouTube. Let's hope he won't take it down.

Bottom line: Don't believe the hype until it's official. I learned that the hard way when I encounter Jar Jar Binks. Not only he's annoying as hell, fans accused him for creating the empire. I have yet to meet anybody who actually liked Jar-Jar in a unironic fashion.

Until then, this is Antibishonen Speaks. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, Happy Life Day, just whatever. Just don't mention 'Disney' about this Holiday Special.

How Muppet Babies Influence Pop-culture

This is Antibishonen Speaks discussing current events and The Muppets.  I know it's bad timing, but I have to speak about this.  

Yeah, yeah, along with other relationships that ended in divorce, it shocked everyone Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog broke up.

Honestly, I wasn't too surprised.  Kermit was a pushover every time he upsets Miss Piggy.  I mean, look at his predicament.  I'm surprised he took one beating after another.  It even boggles my mind Miss Piggy wanted to be part of his childhood as well. 

Which is why I'm going to discuss ‘Muppet Babies’, one of the cartoons I watched when I was a kid!  What surprised me is the origin of ‘Muppet Babies’, the effects on other franchises, and why it hasn’t been released on DVD!  For starters, let’s take a look how ‘Muppet Babies’ got the greenlight.

The first prototype on the ‘Muppet Babies’ appeared in the movie ‘Muppet Takes Manhattan’ where Miss Piggy imagined if Kermit the Frog and the rest of the cast grew up together at a daycare.  It’s only a three minute musical sequence, but it gave the producers an idea to make a spin-off of ‘The Muppet’ franchise.  And boy, a hit it was!

Spanning for more than 65 episodes in seven years, it’s no surprise ‘Muppet Babies’ revitalized the Muppet franchise and pretty much made daytime cartoons popular again.  Because ‘Muppet Babies’ was a huge hit, other networks and franchises followed up with their ‘young cartoon counterparts’.  Some was mildly successful, while other are best left forgotten.  

However, ‘Muppet Babies’ unofficially revitalized another franchise from left field:  ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’.

‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ was a low-budget horror parody about killer tomatoes.  Yes, it’s cheap and cheesy, but it’s that kind of B-movie expectations you have expected.

Then came ‘Muppet Babies’ when they made an episode ‘The Weirdo Zone’ around ‘The Killer Tomatoes’.  In this episode, Fozzie made a terrible tomato joke that the ‘Silly Tomatoes’ attacked him, only to get caught by a giant ketchup bottle.  

This ‘Killer Tomatoes’ parody was among one of the highest rated episodes on ‘Muppet Babies’.  Naturally, the producers made a deal with the original creators to create a sequel; ‘Return of the Killer Tomatoes’.  That too was also successful that it lead to the animated series.  

For me personally, ‘Return of the Killer Tomatoes’ is among my favorite in the ‘Killer Tomatoes’ series, especially when the main hero poked fun at product placements.  The jokes was way ahead of its time.

Unfortunately, I only recommend that movie because in the third movie, it starred…. (Rick Rockwell)

OH DEAR GOD, NO!!!!!!!  I’ll get to ‘him’ some other time....

Now comes to the ultimate question:  If ‘Muppet Babies’ was a popular show, why hasn’t it been released onto DVD?  

There’s a valid explanation about this situation.  The jokes that were used on ‘Muppet Babies’ had other footage from other popular shows.  That means unless you got the rights or release permits from other producers, you’ll end up in a landmine of lawsuits.

Sad, but true.  That’s the big reason why you shouldn’t hold your breath for a ‘Muppet Babies’ official release.  It’s also doesn’t help that some clips were from rival studios.   So yeah, it’s not that easy to get around this legal issue and I know getting clearance from the copyright holders is time-consuming and expensive.  Yes, I know they are VHS copies that pop around, but it’s 2014.  Yes, I know fans had made DVD versions, but that’s frowned upon.  Also, it’s just ripped from the VHS.  

Another factor to point out; because Disney obtained the rights from Jim Henson, Marvel, and Star Wars, it might be a possibility to see some ‘Muppet Babies’ episodes released in the future.  Again, don’t hold your breath for an official release.

This is Antibishonen Speaks.  Seriously, why was Miss Piggy and Kermit a couple?  

Black Friday (The Shopping Trend and its Origins)

If you want to know how ridiculous Black Friday had become, look no further than South Park’s parody on ‘Game of Thrones’.  

I know the deal they offered on ‘South Park’ was exaggerated, but the fight to get a $99 knockoff 40 inch tv is shockingly true, that people actually die because of getting run over by shoppers.

http://consumerist.com/2014/11/25/walmart-still-avoiding-paying-7000-fine-for-worker-killed-by-black-friday-shoppers-in-2008/

This is ‘The Rejected Playboy’ trying to uncover this madness regarding ‘Black Friday’.  Mainly, how did ‘Black Friday’ was associated with shopping, even though it shares the same bad luck with the stock market, JFK, poker players (Pokerstars), and pop music (Rebecca Black).  For starters, let’s go back to 1966 within the streets of Philadelphia.

Yes, way before Rocky take on Apollo Creed, the Philly police had to deal with huge crowds of shoppers that were causing so much traffic jams, they dubbed it ‘Black Friday’.

There it is folks, the Philly police used ‘Black Friday’ as a dreadful day to work overtime in order to deal with the massive crowds after Thanksgiving.  It gets ‘better’.  In 1975, not only the cops had to deal with the overcrowded shoppers, but also the Army-Navy game, which was playing at then still intact, JFK Stadium.

If you had been to conventions that’s also hosting a sporting event, you already know how much headache Public Safety had to face.

But wait, there’s another revelation that’s occurring on ‘Black Friday’.  Despite the recession that occurred before, shoppers are still looking for deals.  So much so, that companies realize that ‘Black Friday’ means another term:  When their sales earnings are heading to the ‘black’!  

Combine the fact that theoretically marks the beginning of the holiday shopping season during the final stretch of the 4th quarter, the negative connotation regarding ‘Black Friday’ was changed as a positive for merchants and retailers who were struggling to clean out their inventory for the next year.  

That’s right, ‘Black Friday’ was officially commercialized.  

However, ‘Black Friday’ wasn’t a real issue until recently because it wasn’t the busiest shopping day of the year until 2003.  That honor goes to ‘The Saturday before Christmas’.  

That is, until retailers are starting to get a little too greedy.  You see, since 2004, there’s a little thing called the Internet that’s dissuading shoppers from leaving their house.  Not wanting to lose out the competition, some retailers decided to make Thanksgiving their ‘Black Friday’ instead.  

Even though some venues are opened on Thanksgiving, the hatred of it stems that companies wanted to increase the bottom line at the cost of their employees.  And not giving overtime or other incentives to do so.  And failing to give them proper protections.  Or any notable promotion opportunities.  Or, just something…..

And it’s all because you want that $99 42-inch no-name TV, which is probably sold out 10 minutes into the sale.  Or that $10 toaster, sold out in 20 minutes.  Or maybe that towel that was sold out in 30 minutes, despite it not a real discount on Black Friday.

Notice the pattern?  Most of these so called deals aren’t that much of a deal at all.  What even worse is they are in limited quantities.  Yeah, 10 deals for a crowd that’s has at least a hundred shoppers.  To put into perspective, they’re just using these improbable deals to get into their stores.  

Not only Black Friday has been a negative connotation with commercialization, there aren’t any deals to brag about other than dealing with pushy shoppers.  If you really want a decent deal, just check out Lifehacker for all those details, use your favorite credit card if there are hidden deals inside, or clip, clip, clip coupons.

http://lifehacker.com/5973864/the-best-time-to-buy-anything-during-the-year

Until then, this is ‘The Rejected Playboy’.  Winter is coming…..

Review: ET (song) by Katy Perry in response to Extraterrestrial

(Introduction to ET on Atari.  Died after losing his last life)

This is ET on Atari and for odd reason, there were music videos, documentaries, and a whole movie based on this videogame!

I don’t know what’s the big deal about this game!  Something about landfills, crashes, and The Nerd or something.  However, there’s a big deal about this song I’m covering for today.  This is The Rejected Playboy.  For starters, let’s discuss Katy Perry.

Ah, Katy Perry, the gospel singer from Santa Barbara who sang such classics as ‘I kissed a girl’ and ‘Ur So Gay’.  Yep, getting people ‘talking’ was definitely a way to level up your stardom.  Though, ‘Waking Up in Vegas’ isn’t that bad.

During her peak of her career, she had a brief marriage with ‘Russell Brand’, the guy who appeared in the ‘Arthur remake’ and supposedly ‘Drop Dead Fred’.  

(Picture of Fred Flintstone dropping dead)

Katy Perry made a few songs that was theoretically about her relationship including ‘Teenage Dream’, ‘The One that Got Away’, and this topic for today:  ‘ET’

I have to break my character for a moment.  I know ET and how it nearly destroyed the entire videogame industry.  What really boggles me is how this song was titled:  E. T.  

What are you trying to do, piggyback the success of Steven Spielberg?  One company already did that and failed miserably! (Atari)

Wait a minute….are you stating that you have the hots for E. T.?  I don’t want to be too judgemental but, <yeesh>....

Yes, we know he has a thing about Reese’s Pieces and can become a party drunk whenever he pleases, but all he does is collect telephone pieces while running away from mad scientists and the FBI.  The less I say about his finger technique, the better.  

For some odd reason, I don’t want to know about the ‘other’ E. T. movies.  In fact, I’m surprised there’s a Rule 34 for E. T.  

NO, I WON’T SHOW THE CLIPS.  Here’s a drunk parody instead.

(The Critic:  DT:  The Drunken Terrestrial)

Back to the song, at least for a song like E. T., it’s catchy, right?  

Um, no….

(E. T. song)

If anybody’s making a song about intergalactic love, at least make it upbeat.  Katy Perry’s version seems so dull, that it feel forced or something.  Of course, that’s a possibility considering how aliens probe your butt or something.  

But that’s only the tip of the iceberg.  I haven’t covered Kanye’s collaboration.  

Oh, Kanye, how you showboated your antics at the hurricane relief and Taylor Swift, giving you the perception how you don’t understand ‘Fishsticks’.  That’s the problem I have about Kanye.  He claims that he’s one of the most talented musicians in the world and the only thing I heard from him recently is a corny love song for some socialite who got her fame by leaking her sex tape!

Speaking of his guest vocals, it still didn’t add much to Katy Perry.  It probably made it worse because the rap verse didn’t transition well.  

Why can’t we having something a little more energy like these soundtracks from Japan?

Please teacher!

(Shooting Star by Kotoko)

FLCL

(Ride on Shooting Star by The Pillows)

Urusei Yatsura

(Lum’s Love Song)

Even ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ had energy!  And this was back in the 80s!

(Space Age Love Song)

Well, at least there couldn’t be any alien songs worse than this.  Right?

(Britney Spears’ ‘Alien’)

Okay you win.  This is ‘The Rejected Playboy’ saying, if you like to swing on the stars and be better off where you are, you rather go to earth (and not listen to ET)! 

Dumber than 'Dumb and Dumber': Stupid Criminals

This is ‘The Rejected Playing’ ripping on current events and relationship issues.  What’s even dumber than ‘Dumb and Dumber’?  How about stupid criminals.

Yes, I’m taking this off from Jay Leno’s playbook, but you can’t help but smirk at the stupid criminals whether it’s shoplifting a turkey between your thighs or showing a stolen credit card directly at a security camera.  In most cases, it’s makes law enforcers lives easier.  

So what criminal act they committed in ‘Dumb and Dumber’?  Holding a ransom at an International Airport during broad daylight!

There’s a reason why ransoms occur at night at an undisclosed location:  You won’t get caught!  I’m sorry, but if you’re going to make a plotline about kidnapping, think harder next time!  

So let’s break down why it’s a terrible idea to have a ransom at an airport.  Leaving a suitcase in the middle of the airline check-in would definitely raise a red flag for both airport security and the state police!  It’s not like an unmarked luggage would suspect a terrorist attack or something.  Oh wait, yes it does!

Not to mention, if there was a security breach, cameras are everywhere at the airport, which would’ve no doubt detected the two ransom suspects.

But wait, it gets ‘better’.  Because Lloyd had an infatuation with the passenger, he decided to run after her to return the package.  

How he bypass security checkpoint is beyond me.  By that time, the airport would go on a lockdown, review some of the cameras, and start arresting suspects.  

Instead, we get a plotline with Lloyd convincing Harry to go on a road trip to return the suitcase.  If his IQ was 30 points higher than ‘Forrest Gump’, he would have sent the suitcase to authorities for inspection instead.  

Yep, that’s pretty much the plot device for ‘Dumb and Dumber’, a stupid criminal act gone wrong that lead ‘Dumb and Dumber’ on a road trip.  That’s pretty much dumb.  And I was dumb enough to point all of these flaws out!

Say what you want about ‘The Stupids’, but at least the crooked arms dealer gets the idea about holding a deal at an undisclosed location.  ‘Beavis and Butthead’ are also stupid, but at least the crooks knew how to take advantage of their lowly intellect.  As for….(Miss march) nope, I won’t talk about that!

So next time, if you’re going to do a road trip movie, try to make it ridiculously plausible.  National Lampoon’s ‘Vacation’ got that one right.

This is ‘The Rejected Playboy’ saying:  Having an obsessive crush is indeed destructive.  I mean that both figuratively and literally!  

Maleficent: Laziest Disney Villain ever (Disney's Sleeping Beauty)

This is Antibishonen Speaks.  You’re getting sleepy, you’re getting sleepy….Forget it, I’ll cut to the chase; Maleficient is the laziest Disney Villain I had ever seen!

You heard that right, Maleficent may have been the most feared Disney Villain, but her track record of evilness is as miniscule as the amoeba boys.  Don’t believe me?  Well, let me do a comparison.

Ursula, another feared Disney Villain, not only manipulated the merpeople by using their inferiority complexes, she briefly possessed King Triton’s crown to control the sea.

Gaston, while an egotistical buffoon, successfully manipulated the townspeople by organizing a mob to ‘kill the beast’.  

And ‘The Coachman’?  Oh cor blimey, the coachman!  One of the scariest scenes I have ever seen!  It’s also a rare case where the Disney villain got away!

With all these villains’ diabolical plans, you thought Maleficent would do something that would top them all, right?  WRONG!  All what Maleficent did was to place a curse on Aurora by pricking her finger at a spindle of a spinning wheel.  Even Rumplestiltskin would scratch his head for something anti-climatic like that.  More embarrassing is that the curse was reduced to a deep sleep where it can be broken by a true love’s kiss!  

Because of this loophole, you would have thought Maleficent would personally find Aurora and have the curse come full circle.  She did, but only after sixteen years where her minions failed to find her!

Yeah, don’t you think that if they couldn’t find her for many years, you would think that, hey, Maleficent, can you help find the princess instead of sitting on your throne, you lazy bitch?  

YOU’RE THE MISTRESS OF ALL EVIL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!  AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU USED YOUR MINIONS ALL THIS TIME?!

Sheesh, it makes me wonder how on earth Maleficent kept that slender figure!  Anyway, yeah, she went into action by using her pet raven to find the princess.  And giving a precise description no less!  Instead of 16 long years, it only took a day or two to pinpoint her hideout!  Imagine how you would feel if a task like that took two days instead of sixteen years.  I’m willing to bet you would rage in fury.

So finally, Maleficent’s plan went in motion by fulfilling the spinning wheel curse and capturing the prince.  Yes, I admit, her speech to the prince was cynically awesome.  

With that charming speech, what does Maleficent do?  Did she went back to the throne and plan her next takeover?  Does she summon her minions to watch over the prince in case he tries to escape?  NO!  After fulfilling her curse for sixteen long years, she boast that she can finally sleep well, ironically enough!

Yes, my statement still stands:  Maleficent is the laziest Disney Villain ever!  

Scar may have been an incompetent tyrant, but at least he took over Pride Rock.  

Jafar went over his head by turning himself into a genie, but he at least took over Agrabah by finally stealing the lamp.  

The Sheriff of Nottingham can’t see through Robin Hood’s disguise, but at least he can sentence Friar Tuck to death!

And Darth Vader is Luke’s father.  I don’t get it.

As for Maleficent, her laziness eventually became her downfall!  The prince escaped, he overcame Maleficent’s wrath, and defeated her right after she cornered him!  

So what’s the lesson we learned regarding Maleficent?  Don’t sleep at your job!  I mean it!

It baffles me why Maleficent tops the list of Disney Villains even though she barely did anything sinister.  That Disney Villain honor should reserve to someone who wasn’t defeated and did something horrifically evil.  Honestly, the coachman still scare the bejesus out of me!   

Yet, I can’t help that it’s the design and the personality that made her threatening.  I just really wished that she can be more intimidating.  

This is Antibishonen Speaks, saying, why of all time did the fairy godmothers blow their cover all because of the dress color?  I’ll never know.

Dorothy's Tragic Fate (Disney's Return to OZ)

    Greetings, everyone.  This is Antibishonen Speaks talking about current events and relationships.   Well, Walt Disney’s released Oz:  The Great and Powerful and another studio released Legends of Oz:  Dorothy’s Return, so let’s analyze Dorothy in the first two movies.  

    The first movie, The Wizard of Oz, don’t need much explanation though it baffles me how  she managed to survive a hurricane when her house was caught in the center of the tornado.  

    Don’t tell me it’s magic!

    As for the movie, it’s a classic tale where you get to squish witches with a house, snatch other peoples precious slippers (I won’t make an obvious joke), and realized in the end that your adventure to the Emerald City was pretty pointless because Glinda didn’t tell you about the shoes magical powers.  To the movies credit, you get to see Dorothy bitchslap The Cowardly Lion and unintentionally destroy Elphaba with plain-ass water.  

    So, with that classic tale closing with her back in Kansas, you thought it would be a wonderful homecoming, right?

    Unfortunately, her return to Kansas wasn’t pretty because six months after her trip back in Oz, she was declared legally insane and was confined to shock therapy.  That’s what you get for discussing flying monkeys, talking scarecrows, and witches that can be killed by plain-ass water.

    This is the basis of Return to Oz, another nifty movie created by Walt Disney.  You know how Walt Disney movie works; they create a charming tale where all the kids can dance around and sing classical songs.....

(Return to Oz)

    ‘And scare the bejesus out of you.’  Disney was at its darkest point.  This was released around the same time ‘The Black Cauldron’ was in theaters and it’s no wonder many viewers don’t remember this darker sequel.  I mean, there’s the headless witch, the creepy wheelies, and the Nome King known to steal the ruby slippers (Again, won’t make an obvious joke).  

    Nevermind the Wicked Witch of the West, it’s the Nome King everyone should worry about in Oz.  Take a breather.  Hold on a Care Bear.

    She can’t leave because the Nome has the slippers.  She took a glimpse of Oz, that’s pretty much in ruins.  Also, getting stalked by wheelers is frightening.  Don’t forget the fact about the trauma she had at the institution.  At least she has her new friends including Tik-Tok, not making a Kesha reference, Jack Pumpkinhead, and Gump who can fly!  Almost forgot, there’s a talking chicken name Bellina.  

    Sing Earthbound if you want, but her life was on the line because she had to find Scarecrow in an inanimate object, which is green-related.  

    You better run, because you pissed off the Nome King.  He’s a hothead!  So he ate Gump (partially), and now he wants to eat Jack Pumpkinhead.  

    Look, he’s flying!  But wait, his life’s on the balance because there’s a chicken and eggs would melt the Nome King.  What do you know, it melted the Nome King, but not without a scary Raiders of the Lost Ark montage.  

    So finally, Dorothy, frighten by everything she saw, wished Oz back the way it was.  Heh, she pulled a Dragonball Z.  Surprise, surprise, everything went back to normal.  Just like in the previous installment, she was sent home to Kansas, again.  There’s a little twist in the ending, the institution was struck down by lighting, slaying the doctor and many other employees in that hospital because they messed around with Ozma who happens to be the true ruler of Oz.  Karma’s a bitch!

    That’s pretty much the tale of Dorothy and her journey to Oz.  Yes, Oz looks like hell, but it NOT as bad when Dr. Oz discussing about the uncivilized nature at Oz penitentiary!  

This is Antibishonen Speaks.  For those who were incarcerated in Oz, prepare for Preparation H.