Random Encounter's Take on Selena Gomez's Three Card Monte

Greeting everyone, I’m going to talk about Selena Gomez.  No, she’s not the tennis player with a colorful mouth or part of the Addams family.  Rather, she’s the rejected Harry Potter of Greenwich Village. 

I know; Harry Potter’s popping up soon. 

To tell you the truth, there’s not much to say about her.  All I know is that she’s dating Justin Bieber.  Of course, in order to promote herself, she released a movie called Monte Carlo.  It’s just a waste of time. 

There are too many problems about this movie before I even started.  First off, I have an issue with the title.  If I want to watch about the movie Monte Carlo, I expect something about the casino Monte Carlo in Las Vegas or about the gambler who broke the bank at Monte Carlo.  I don’t care if it’s Joseph Jagger or Charles Wells since I rather read up on those people instead of some Hannah Montana wannabe who looks for love in Monte Carlo. 

It already makes my blood boil!  She just turned 18 and she already travel to France and Monte Carlo while I’m here ranting about the things I really want to do but are obstructed by those cynical slackers who are keeping me here from actually accomplishing those dreams.  Did I also mention she’s dating Justin Bieber; a celebrity wannabe?

If I had the opportunity to change the movie title, an appropriate title would be:

Three-card Monte!

That makes sense since you know you’re never going to get the lucky lady to win a decent fortune against the dealer since all he would offer is the dud. 

Another issue I had with the movie is the targeted demographics.  Whoever was part of the Selena Gomez marketing team should be fired on the spot.  Selena’s target demographic was preteens who watched Wizard of Waverly Place.  If you wanted at least somebody to watch a movie with Selena Gomez, don’t make a movie that would aim at a bunch of 17-year-olds or single lady urbanites!  Hannah Montana: the movie, despite the terrible review, had it right aiming at the demographics.  Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers concert also had it right aiming at the current demographics.  And here’s Selena Gomez…

(Silence noise)

Also, releasing this kind of movie during the summer is a terrible idea!

In May, we had Pirates of the Caribbean, Cars 2, and Thor.  In June, we had X-Men, Green Lantern, and unfortunately Transformers 3.  As for July, there’s Harry Potter, Smurfs which I don’t understand, Cowboys vs. Aliens, and Captain America. 

Then you have a movie starring Selena Gomez and a bunch of nobody onscreen promoting Monte Carlo.  Tagline:  It’s a PG-rated Sex and the City with a dash of Joe Millionaire.

For those who don’t know Joe Millionaire, it’s about a blue-collar bachelor posing himself as a multi-millionaire who sends invitations to a bunch of suitors to visit his ‘mansion’.  Let’s just leave it at that since it would get too complicated.

Exactly, how on earth can Selena Gomez compete with all of the superhero movies during the summer?  You can’t, simple as that!  Release the movie during September or wait until next spring.

Wait a minute, there’s another factor she’s promoting with her movie and that’s her signature song.  To be fair, her song is kinda catchy, but there’s one tiny problem which I’ll get to shortly.  Have you guys figured it out?  Not yet?  Alright, I’ll reveal it to you; she had never experienced that hardship herself. 

I understand Lady Gaga, Eminem, and surprisingly Taylor Swift because they experience hardship during high school.  As for Selena Gomez, she gets an automatic disqualification due to her bubbly pretentiousness.  Note to producers; don’t give a motivation to anybody who hadn’t experience any social hardship themselves!

Who says you’re not perfect?  WHO THE HELL CARES?

If you can’t relate to us, you have no right to motivate us!

This is why I’m sick and tired of those motivational speakers since they are clueless about the struggles we had encountered during our lifetimes and yet he probably lives in the land of excess without any conscience or second thoughts.

Of course, I’m talking to you Mr. Trump and I’m still waiting on your tax returns.  See you in my next video.

Selena Gomez already stumble her movie career before she actually started losing popularity.  Though you can argue that debate with Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and Mariah Carey, their music careers were already taking a nosedive while Selena’s career just got started.  Let’s just hope that if her relationship with Bieber is over, she would not walk downtown and shave her head bald!

This is Random Encounter!  Coming up next, I’m going to discuss horrible, horrible bosses so stay tuned!

It's not Friday the 13th, but it should be! (My unfortunate encounter with Rebecca Black)

If there are any music reviewers out there, please rip this music apart!

Trust me, you rather encounter Katy Perry than her!

I thought Kesha was the only party girl I have to deal with when it comes to bad pop songs (though there are many others), but Rebecca Black takes the cake!

Unlike Kesha's songs that are surprisingly catchy (and yes even Rick Astley or Starship), a song by Rebecca Black would probably give me a heart attack!

So how did I encounter her?  Well, it was by accident since I was looking for songs that were relevant to Friday besides Katy Perry or The Cure.  In addition, I also heard it got top marks by having the majority of dislikes on Youtube.  Yet, Simon Cowell has yet to release his statement on the current pop music trend.

Just to make it clear, Simon Cowell had gone AWOL when this scratching blackboard track was released!  If he was so dead serious about becoming a real critic on the X Factor, then he shouldn't have slacked off when he left American Idol.

By the way, I don't care what people say, but American Idol blows.  Ever since Jasmine was booted off, I have no hope of that show anymore.  Besides Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, nobody really wins in American Idol since participating on that show doesn't guarantee any increased publicity!

When's the last time anybody talked about Justin the runner up, Clay Aiken, Ruben Studdard, Kellie Pickler, or even Taylor Hicks?

That aside, I got curious by clicking on her music video.  If Willow Smith and her agents were watching this, despite their horrible track, they would sigh in relief and glad that their song doesn't suck as much as her's.

It's a mess.  The artist can't sing, the music video is distorted, the auto-tune was ineffective, the rapper's cameo is cliched, and did I mention that she can't sing.

The worst part?  She already become infamous by appearing with Katy Perry with her song, ironically called 'Last Friday Night'. 

Yet another disqualified artist who would join with the likes of Tommy Wiseau and Ed Wood; cashing on the bad publicity in order to create marquee name value. 

Random Encounter is signing out and he dares you to click this link!