Greeting everyone, I’m going to talk about Selena Gomez. No, she’s not the tennis player with a colorful mouth or part of the Addams family. Rather, she’s the rejected Harry Potter of Greenwich Village.
To tell you the truth, there’s not much to say about her. All I know is that she’s dating Justin Bieber. Of course, in order to promote herself, she released a movie called Monte Carlo. It’s just a waste of time.
There are too many problems about this movie before I even started. First off, I have an issue with the title. If I want to watch about the movie Monte Carlo, I expect something about the casino Monte Carlo in Las Vegas or about the gambler who broke the bank at Monte Carlo. I don’t care if it’s Joseph Jagger or Charles Wells since I rather read up on those people instead of some Hannah Montana wannabe who looks for love in Monte Carlo.
It already makes my blood boil! She just turned 18 and she already travel to France and Monte Carlo while I’m here ranting about the things I really want to do but are obstructed by those cynical slackers who are keeping me here from actually accomplishing those dreams. Did I also mention she’s dating Justin Bieber; a celebrity wannabe?
If I had the opportunity to change the movie title, an appropriate title would be:
Three-card Monte!
That makes sense since you know you’re never going to get the lucky lady to win a decent fortune against the dealer since all he would offer is the dud.
Another issue I had with the movie is the targeted demographics. Whoever was part of the Selena Gomez marketing team should be fired on the spot. Selena’s target demographic was preteens who watched Wizard of Waverly Place. If you wanted at least somebody to watch a movie with Selena Gomez, don’t make a movie that would aim at a bunch of 17-year-olds or single lady urbanites! Hannah Montana: the movie, despite the terrible review, had it right aiming at the demographics. Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers concert also had it right aiming at the current demographics. And here’s Selena Gomez…
(Silence noise)
Also, releasing this kind of movie during the summer is a terrible idea!
In May, we had Pirates of the Caribbean, Cars 2, and Thor. In June, we had X-Men, Green Lantern, and unfortunately Transformers 3. As for July, there’s Harry Potter, Smurfs which I don’t understand, Cowboys vs. Aliens, and Captain America.
Then you have a movie starring Selena Gomez and a bunch of nobody onscreen promoting Monte Carlo. Tagline: It’s a PG-rated Sex and the City with a dash of Joe Millionaire.
For those who don’t know Joe Millionaire, it’s about a blue-collar bachelor posing himself as a multi-millionaire who sends invitations to a bunch of suitors to visit his ‘mansion’. Let’s just leave it at that since it would get too complicated.
Exactly, how on earth can Selena Gomez compete with all of the superhero movies during the summer? You can’t, simple as that! Release the movie during September or wait until next spring.
Wait a minute, there’s another factor she’s promoting with her movie and that’s her signature song. To be fair, her song is kinda catchy, but there’s one tiny problem which I’ll get to shortly. Have you guys figured it out? Not yet? Alright, I’ll reveal it to you; she had never experienced that hardship herself.
I understand Lady Gaga, Eminem, and surprisingly Taylor Swift because they experience hardship during high school. As for Selena Gomez, she gets an automatic disqualification due to her bubbly pretentiousness. Note to producers; don’t give a motivation to anybody who hadn’t experience any social hardship themselves!
Who says you’re not perfect? WHO THE HELL CARES?
If you can’t relate to us, you have no right to motivate us!
This is why I’m sick and tired of those motivational speakers since they are clueless about the struggles we had encountered during our lifetimes and yet he probably lives in the land of excess without any conscience or second thoughts.
Of course, I’m talking to you Mr. Trump and I’m still waiting on your tax returns. See you in my next video.
Selena Gomez already stumble her movie career before she actually started losing popularity. Though you can argue that debate with Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and Mariah Carey, their music careers were already taking a nosedive while Selena’s career just got started. Let’s just hope that if her relationship with Bieber is over, she would not walk downtown and shave her head bald!
This is Random Encounter! Coming up next, I’m going to discuss horrible, horrible bosses so stay tuned!
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